Musings : My Oasis in the Desert of the Mundane - Human Interest Stories
I’m so excited to say that I was just recently encouraged to write a short story about my journey into motherhood for possible publication in a pro-life project benefiting a women’s health clinic with the Gabriel Network, in Baltimore, Maryland. The project was created to encourage young women to choose life for their child, regardless of their circumstances. I’m so flattered to be even a small part of such a meaningful endeavor. What could be more important than encouraging the preservation of life.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13
.....Excerpt.....
Treasures of the Heart
Treasures of the Heart
My
submission is presently being considered for publication with
CausePub.com in Jillian Amodio’s book “New Life Within”. I say
“considered” because the final stories chosen will be determined by
votes. The more votes I get the better my chances of being published. So
if you are willing, I’d love it if you would read my story
and if you like it, I’d be honored if you would vote for my story and
ask a few of your friends to do so as well. And perhaps they’ll tell
two friends…and they’ll tell two friends…and so on and so on.
My
husband and I were what everyone called “meant to be”. What started as
friendship developed into a beautiful love story and I married the love
of my life. That being said our life was far from perfect but it was
ours to go through together and here we are 17 years later. Two years
into our marriage we felt we were ready to start a family. Did I say
ready? Actually I was petrified but felt my clock ticking away.
I was 32 when I got pregnant with my first child. I was excited and nervous all at once realizing that I was standing at the threshold of motherhood. Was I ready? I had my doubts because although I was in my thirties I still had moments when I felt like a kid myself. I had heard so many horror stories about pregnancy and painful deliveries that I was fearful of the unknown. As my pregnancy progressed I was constantly sick to the point that instead of gaining weight I had actually lost 15 pounds. Forget morning sickness, I had all day sickness. You would think that I was miserable but the truth is that I felt the complete opposite. Yes my body was changing and nausea did take over but the moment I felt that life that was growing inside me moving, kicking all I could focus on was how amazing I felt. I hadn’t met her yet but had already fallen completely in love with her. Being pregnant was the most amazing feeling I had ever had. There was nothing to compare it to because it was so unique. I loved being pregnant so much so that on a particular night I started having contractions and had a bit of a panic attack because I wasn’t ready to stop being pregnant. I didn’t want to give up that beautiful feeling. I think that somewhere in my mind I felt like I was doing something SO important, something that would make a difference. I had never felt that important before. It turned out to be Braxton Hicks and I was so happy to know that I could be pregnant for a little bit longer.
A few weeks later contractions came again this time I was ready and so eager to meet my baby. On December 18th 1998 my beautiful daughter was born and I was never the same. How can you describe a heart so full that it overflows? I was now in that club, you know that one where you get to say “you’ll understand when you’re a mom”. It’s so true! The minute I held her for the first time I experienced an overwhelming flood of emotions that I had never experienced before. There she was with her red puffy cheeks and sweet trusting eyes and she was mine. True I had to share her with my husband but she was mine. I was in heaven. What was it like? Well, I was determined to breastfeed and therefore did not sleep. This little 6 lb baby girl always wanted to feed. I didn’t know what I was doing but trudged through until one morning I was pumping breast milk and wondered why the milk was pink. My inexperience with latching on the baby was showing. I’ll spare you the gory details so let’s just say that I was raw and in so much pain but could not, would not give up. I was devastated to think that I wouldn’t be able to nurse her if I started giving her formula while I healed. God knows our limits and He knows our needs. A few weeks later I was ready to try again and she latched on like a pro. God is good and I felt the blessing. She nursed until she was almost 9 months old.
As she grew her father and I enjoyed every moment. She has always been our tender hearted warrior loving everyone and always willing to serve others. She truly has a beautiful heart. What a blessing she has been.
Fast forward four years later as we decide that it’s time for another baby or at least time to start talking about it. I am a planner and need time to get used to changes so when we had just barely started considering another child and I suspected that I may already be pregnant I panicked. I bought a pregnancy test in order to remove any doubt. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. As I waited for the results I prayed and asked God for a false alarm. I didn’t feel like I could love another child as much as I loved my daughter. I couldn’t fathom that idea. When the results were ready I was afraid to look but mustered up the courage anyway. When I saw the blue negative sign I dropped to my knees, put my head down and cried a deep painful cry as if I had lost a child. At that very moment I knew I was so wrong. I knew then and there that I wanted another child and that there was so much more love to be given.
This time around it was just not happening. We tried for a little over a year and nothing. I started feeling as though it was my fault because I put it off for so long or because back then I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it at all. I was stressing myself out in a big way. Once I finally let go and relaxed that’s when at long last it happened. We were elated! The pregnancy this time around was almost identical I lost another 15 pounds before I ever gained an ounce. That quickly changed after the first 6 months. I enjoyed it just the same. This one was a “live one” I thought to myself. I remember being in church as they played the worship music and feeling my belly move to the beat. He’s been dancing ever since. I can’t seem to keep that boy still. He’s a character and just the thought of him makes me smile. My gorgeous boy was born on January 22, 2003. Everything was great at the hospital and luckily this time around nursing was a cinch for a pro like me.
- See more at: http://causepub.com/treasures-heart/#sthash.wavDb7cw.dpuf
I was 32 when I got pregnant with my first child. I was excited and nervous all at once realizing that I was standing at the threshold of motherhood. Was I ready? I had my doubts because although I was in my thirties I still had moments when I felt like a kid myself. I had heard so many horror stories about pregnancy and painful deliveries that I was fearful of the unknown. As my pregnancy progressed I was constantly sick to the point that instead of gaining weight I had actually lost 15 pounds. Forget morning sickness, I had all day sickness. You would think that I was miserable but the truth is that I felt the complete opposite. Yes my body was changing and nausea did take over but the moment I felt that life that was growing inside me moving, kicking all I could focus on was how amazing I felt. I hadn’t met her yet but had already fallen completely in love with her. Being pregnant was the most amazing feeling I had ever had. There was nothing to compare it to because it was so unique. I loved being pregnant so much so that on a particular night I started having contractions and had a bit of a panic attack because I wasn’t ready to stop being pregnant. I didn’t want to give up that beautiful feeling. I think that somewhere in my mind I felt like I was doing something SO important, something that would make a difference. I had never felt that important before. It turned out to be Braxton Hicks and I was so happy to know that I could be pregnant for a little bit longer.
A few weeks later contractions came again this time I was ready and so eager to meet my baby. On December 18th 1998 my beautiful daughter was born and I was never the same. How can you describe a heart so full that it overflows? I was now in that club, you know that one where you get to say “you’ll understand when you’re a mom”. It’s so true! The minute I held her for the first time I experienced an overwhelming flood of emotions that I had never experienced before. There she was with her red puffy cheeks and sweet trusting eyes and she was mine. True I had to share her with my husband but she was mine. I was in heaven. What was it like? Well, I was determined to breastfeed and therefore did not sleep. This little 6 lb baby girl always wanted to feed. I didn’t know what I was doing but trudged through until one morning I was pumping breast milk and wondered why the milk was pink. My inexperience with latching on the baby was showing. I’ll spare you the gory details so let’s just say that I was raw and in so much pain but could not, would not give up. I was devastated to think that I wouldn’t be able to nurse her if I started giving her formula while I healed. God knows our limits and He knows our needs. A few weeks later I was ready to try again and she latched on like a pro. God is good and I felt the blessing. She nursed until she was almost 9 months old.
As she grew her father and I enjoyed every moment. She has always been our tender hearted warrior loving everyone and always willing to serve others. She truly has a beautiful heart. What a blessing she has been.
Fast forward four years later as we decide that it’s time for another baby or at least time to start talking about it. I am a planner and need time to get used to changes so when we had just barely started considering another child and I suspected that I may already be pregnant I panicked. I bought a pregnancy test in order to remove any doubt. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. As I waited for the results I prayed and asked God for a false alarm. I didn’t feel like I could love another child as much as I loved my daughter. I couldn’t fathom that idea. When the results were ready I was afraid to look but mustered up the courage anyway. When I saw the blue negative sign I dropped to my knees, put my head down and cried a deep painful cry as if I had lost a child. At that very moment I knew I was so wrong. I knew then and there that I wanted another child and that there was so much more love to be given.
This time around it was just not happening. We tried for a little over a year and nothing. I started feeling as though it was my fault because I put it off for so long or because back then I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it at all. I was stressing myself out in a big way. Once I finally let go and relaxed that’s when at long last it happened. We were elated! The pregnancy this time around was almost identical I lost another 15 pounds before I ever gained an ounce. That quickly changed after the first 6 months. I enjoyed it just the same. This one was a “live one” I thought to myself. I remember being in church as they played the worship music and feeling my belly move to the beat. He’s been dancing ever since. I can’t seem to keep that boy still. He’s a character and just the thought of him makes me smile. My gorgeous boy was born on January 22, 2003. Everything was great at the hospital and luckily this time around nursing was a cinch for a pro like me.
- See more at: http://causepub.com/treasures-heart/#sthash.wavDb7cw.dpuf
My
husband and I were what everyone called “meant to be”. What started as
friendship developed into a beautiful love story and I married the love
of my life. That being said our life was far from perfect but it was
ours to go through together and here we are 17 years later. Two years
into our marriage we felt we were ready to start a family. Did I say
ready? Actually I was petrified but felt my clock ticking away.
I was 32 when I got pregnant with my first child. I was excited and nervous all at once realizing that I was standing at the threshold of motherhood. Was I ready? I had my doubts because although I was in my thirties I still had moments when I felt like a kid myself. I had heard so many horror stories about pregnancy and painful deliveries that I was fearful of the unknown. As my pregnancy progressed I was constantly sick to the point that instead of gaining weight I had actually lost 15 pounds. Forget morning sickness, I had all day sickness. You would think that I was miserable but the truth is that I felt the complete opposite. Yes my body was changing and nausea did take over but the moment I felt that life that was growing inside me moving, kicking all I could focus on was how amazing I felt. I hadn’t met her yet but had already fallen completely in love with her. Being pregnant was the most amazing feeling I had ever had. There was nothing to compare it to because it was so unique. I loved being pregnant so much so that on a particular night I started having contractions and had a bit of a panic attack because I wasn’t ready to stop being pregnant. I didn’t want to give up that beautiful feeling. I think that somewhere in my mind I felt like I was doing something SO important, something that would make a difference. I had never felt that important before. It turned out to be Braxton Hicks and I was so happy to know that I could be pregnant for a little bit longer.
Read More Here
I was 32 when I got pregnant with my first child. I was excited and nervous all at once realizing that I was standing at the threshold of motherhood. Was I ready? I had my doubts because although I was in my thirties I still had moments when I felt like a kid myself. I had heard so many horror stories about pregnancy and painful deliveries that I was fearful of the unknown. As my pregnancy progressed I was constantly sick to the point that instead of gaining weight I had actually lost 15 pounds. Forget morning sickness, I had all day sickness. You would think that I was miserable but the truth is that I felt the complete opposite. Yes my body was changing and nausea did take over but the moment I felt that life that was growing inside me moving, kicking all I could focus on was how amazing I felt. I hadn’t met her yet but had already fallen completely in love with her. Being pregnant was the most amazing feeling I had ever had. There was nothing to compare it to because it was so unique. I loved being pregnant so much so that on a particular night I started having contractions and had a bit of a panic attack because I wasn’t ready to stop being pregnant. I didn’t want to give up that beautiful feeling. I think that somewhere in my mind I felt like I was doing something SO important, something that would make a difference. I had never felt that important before. It turned out to be Braxton Hicks and I was so happy to know that I could be pregnant for a little bit longer.
Read More Here
My
husband and I were what everyone called “meant to be”. What started as
friendship developed into a beautiful love story and I married the love
of my life. That being said our life was far from perfect but it was
ours to go through together and here we are 17 years later. Two years
into our marriage we felt we were ready to start a family. Did I say
ready? Actually I was petrified but felt my clock ticking away.
I was 32 when I got pregnant with my first child. I was excited and nervous all at once realizing that I was standing at the threshold of motherhood. Was I ready? I had my doubts because although I was in my thirties I still had moments when I felt like a kid myself. I had heard so many horror stories about pregnancy and painful deliveries that I was fearful of the unknown. As my pregnancy progressed I was constantly sick to the point that instead of gaining weight I had actually lost 15 pounds. Forget morning sickness, I had all day sickness. You would think that I was miserable but the truth is that I felt the complete opposite. Yes my body was changing and nausea did take over but the moment I felt that life that was growing inside me moving, kicking all I could focus on was how amazing I felt. I hadn’t met her yet but had already fallen completely in love with her. Being pregnant was the most amazing feeling I had ever had. There was nothing to compare it to because it was so unique. I loved being pregnant so much so that on a particular night I started having contractions and had a bit of a panic attack because I wasn’t ready to stop being pregnant. I didn’t want to give up that beautiful feeling. I think that somewhere in my mind I felt like I was doing something SO important, something that would make a difference. I had never felt that important before. It turned out to be Braxton Hicks and I was so happy to know that I could be pregnant for a little bit longer.
A few weeks later contractions came again this time I was ready and so eager to meet my baby. On December 18th 1998 my beautiful daughter was born and I was never the same. How can you describe a heart so full that it overflows? I was now in that club, you know that one where you get to say “you’ll understand when you’re a mom”. It’s so true! The minute I held her for the first time I experienced an overwhelming flood of emotions that I had never experienced before. There she was with her red puffy cheeks and sweet trusting eyes and she was mine. True I had to share her with my husband but she was mine. I was in heaven. What was it like? Well, I was determined to breastfeed and therefore did not sleep. This little 6 lb baby girl always wanted to feed. I didn’t know what I was doing but trudged through until one morning I was pumping breast milk and wondered why the milk was pink. My inexperience with latching on the baby was showing. I’ll spare you the gory details so let’s just say that I was raw and in so much pain but could not, would not give up. I was devastated to think that I wouldn’t be able to nurse her if I started giving her formula while I healed. God knows our limits and He knows our needs. A few weeks later I was ready to try again and she latched on like a pro. God is good and I felt the blessing. She nursed until she was almost 9 months old.
As she grew her father and I enjoyed every moment. She has always been our tender hearted warrior loving everyone and always willing to serve others. She truly has a beautiful heart. What a blessing she has been.
- See more at: http://causepub.com/treasures-heart/#sthash.wavDb7cw.dpuf
I was 32 when I got pregnant with my first child. I was excited and nervous all at once realizing that I was standing at the threshold of motherhood. Was I ready? I had my doubts because although I was in my thirties I still had moments when I felt like a kid myself. I had heard so many horror stories about pregnancy and painful deliveries that I was fearful of the unknown. As my pregnancy progressed I was constantly sick to the point that instead of gaining weight I had actually lost 15 pounds. Forget morning sickness, I had all day sickness. You would think that I was miserable but the truth is that I felt the complete opposite. Yes my body was changing and nausea did take over but the moment I felt that life that was growing inside me moving, kicking all I could focus on was how amazing I felt. I hadn’t met her yet but had already fallen completely in love with her. Being pregnant was the most amazing feeling I had ever had. There was nothing to compare it to because it was so unique. I loved being pregnant so much so that on a particular night I started having contractions and had a bit of a panic attack because I wasn’t ready to stop being pregnant. I didn’t want to give up that beautiful feeling. I think that somewhere in my mind I felt like I was doing something SO important, something that would make a difference. I had never felt that important before. It turned out to be Braxton Hicks and I was so happy to know that I could be pregnant for a little bit longer.
A few weeks later contractions came again this time I was ready and so eager to meet my baby. On December 18th 1998 my beautiful daughter was born and I was never the same. How can you describe a heart so full that it overflows? I was now in that club, you know that one where you get to say “you’ll understand when you’re a mom”. It’s so true! The minute I held her for the first time I experienced an overwhelming flood of emotions that I had never experienced before. There she was with her red puffy cheeks and sweet trusting eyes and she was mine. True I had to share her with my husband but she was mine. I was in heaven. What was it like? Well, I was determined to breastfeed and therefore did not sleep. This little 6 lb baby girl always wanted to feed. I didn’t know what I was doing but trudged through until one morning I was pumping breast milk and wondered why the milk was pink. My inexperience with latching on the baby was showing. I’ll spare you the gory details so let’s just say that I was raw and in so much pain but could not, would not give up. I was devastated to think that I wouldn’t be able to nurse her if I started giving her formula while I healed. God knows our limits and He knows our needs. A few weeks later I was ready to try again and she latched on like a pro. God is good and I felt the blessing. She nursed until she was almost 9 months old.
As she grew her father and I enjoyed every moment. She has always been our tender hearted warrior loving everyone and always willing to serve others. She truly has a beautiful heart. What a blessing she has been.
- See more at: http://causepub.com/treasures-heart/#sthash.wavDb7cw.dpuf
Please click here or on the title to read and vote for my story “Treasures of the Heart“.
You can also click here to learn more about “The New Life Within” project and how to support it.
...................................................................................................................Guest Blogger : Celi Camacho
Author/Illustrator of "Bedtime for Meaghan", wife & crafty mother of two great kids. Lover of drawing and creating beauty.Website: http://time2refuel.wordpress.com/
- See more at: http://causepub.com/treasures-heart/#sthash.wavDb7cw.dpuf
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